Parents out there with toddlers and kids can imagine all the ups and downs a family has to go through a day. Unsolicited tantrums, melting over a new word or phrase from your 2 year-old kid, lots of proud moments and dinners that might end in fights.
After reading “No Drama Discipline”, the biggest realization is that we as parents need to let our egos go, and start validating our kids' feelings. We need to raise our empathy and realize kids are struggling with saying what they really mean to say.
Letting the ego as a parent is hard. You want your kid to do things the way you want, you want her to be the improved version of you. And we mess constantly by telling them exactly what they need to do.
This book has made me also think of how reactive and consequences-based we behave. I want to become better at asking and “chasing the why” of things and reactions from our sons & daughters.
Lastly, I feel the strategy from the book is to frequently tell you: “You’re going to fail”, “There’s no swiss-blade technique for raising kids”, “These techniques will not apply to every situation”. This brings a bunch of reality facts, so it feels unique compared to other parenting books.
To wrap up, these are my main takeaways from the connect and then redirect approach.
- Choose the right time to have a conversation.
- Acknowledge when your kid is ready to step up and solve a particular situation.
- Work on your wording and how you say things.
- Provide “hints” and guidance so your kid can come to a resolution.